Minions misses the rise of Gru: Movie Review

Universal and Illumination are back with their blockbuster family franchise involving the minions in Minions: Rise of Gru. Kids will find the cheap jokes hysterically funny, but the adults are going to be criminally bored.

What’s most disappointing is how, even though Minions leads the title, most of the short run time is dedicated to an endless parade of unfunny human characters instead. Given that this is the fifth movie of the franchise, that’s an unusual move you’d think the team at Illumination would’ve known to avoid: the kids just want more minions fun.

For anyone who’s lived under a rock, the minions are a gang of yellow blobs with goggles and overalls who help famous villains - they also love bananas and only speak in gibberish. And now, for some reason, their antics are influencing 1970s America.

In this prequel (er, sequel to the first prequel) young Gru (a returning Steve Carrell) is preparing for his first big heist when he’s invited to apply for an opening in the “Villainous 6” - a group of cartoonish villains with puns for names. When he’s kidnapped by a former member, it’s now up to the minions to rescue him.

What follows this inciting incident is less of a cohesive movie and more like a collection of a dozen short segments that culminates in the 20 or so named characters having an all-out villains brawl in the final scene.

Because there are too many characters to remember, it’s hard for any of them or their scenes to be memorable in any way. Director Kyle Balda (also of Despicable Me 3) has jammed way too many new characters and side plots into a short run time so everyone gets overlooked and underused.

If the target audience is meant to be young kids, are they really expected to form an emotional attachment or excitement to all these side characters in such a short movie? More importantly, is anyone expected to keep track of everyone?

The core problem of too large an ensemble is exacerbated by Balda trying to squeeze in as many cameos from previous Despicable Me movies as he can. Sadly, none are used effectively, and none pull off any strong comedic moments. This franchise is now 12 years old - a cameo of young Vector from the 2010 original is a call back to someone from a movie that came out before most children in the audience were even born.

Even more wasteful is the number of celebrities who are credited to the cast and then sidelined with only several lines (or less!) in the whole movie. The list of undervalued actors includes Danny Trejo, RZA, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Will Arnett and even Julie Andrews! The list goes on and on.

One memorable part is the mentorship between young Gru and his idol, Wild Knuckles (Alan Arkin.) This short plot of Gru learning wisdom on how to be a great villain from a seasoned pro is sweet and heartfelt - this is Despicable Me at its best.

But that doesn’t even start until more than halfway into the film, and it’s over as fast as it starts. The rest is decidedly minion-free mayhem that focuses too much on the humans and not enough on the gang of bouncy yellow tater tots.

Kids under 10 will have lots of fun - the young children in my opening day showtime applauded at the end. The adults will only pray for these 80, zany minutes to be over as fast as possible.

It’s so cumbersome and disjointed you’d think it was an evil plot to overwhelm (and possibly brainwash) children as quickly as possible.

Now Playing at Film.Ca Cinemas, 5 Drive-In, Cineplex Winston Churchill and Cineplex Oakville & VIP. Also in IMAX.