Amy Kaufman spoke about her very personal story of intimate partner violence, as she battled her famous ex-husband through a two-year court case and won. Kaufman was the keynote speaker at Halton Women’s Place (HWP) International Women’s Day luncheon on March 8.
Unfortunately, Amy Kaufman attended by Zoom due to her child's unforeseen illness. She relayed in detail her personal experience, from her courtship with baseball journalist Jonah Keri, through her first year of marriage and the gruelling court case that followed.
She revealed how she unwittingly lost control of her life through strategic maneuvers by Keri. The psychological, mental and physical abuse that she endured. The fear of leaving following threats to her life.
Her very public story garnered international coverage by major media outlets because her offender was a high-profile personality. Kaufman was relieved for the support shown when Keri lost his job and long-term relationships in the baseball league; citing that he wasn’t even welcome in local bars when the story broke.
She shared that it took the aid of friends and family to step in and ask how they could help. It was the assistance of those around her that gave her the courage to take the appropriate next steps to leave, but only after becoming pregnant. The health and welfare of her child became a critical factor in how hard she fought to protect her child from exposure to Keri.
Defining Intimate partner violence vs anger management, for the court to understand, was one of her greatest challenges.
After a hard-fought battle of two years, to prove that she was victimized, Keri was convicted with a 21-month sentence, which he is currently serving.
She acknowledges that her situation was not without privilege. She had available to her the means, media attention, an exhaustive volume of evidence, and a solid network of support with which to right the wrong.
Kaufman was painfully aware that the same advantages were not available to most. She became an advocate for women in crisis as a Coordinator at Women Aware when someone reached out and recited a quote from Toni Morrison’s Beloved poem that spoke to her,
Freeing yourself was one thing, claiming ownership of that freed self was another.
Kaufman addressed the effect on children that these situations have, even after a woman leaves.
Laurie Hepburn, Executive Director of HWP spoke on the importance of International Women’s Day, gender inequality, challenges, and discrimination that women experiencing domestic violence need help to overcome.
Hepburn couldn’t stress enough, “Embracing the truth to gender inequity is a necessary step. The goal is to make available resources for everyone regardless of background or inequity.”
Bill C-233, dubbed Keira’s Law, spearheaded by Parliamentary Secretary to the Minister of Public Safety, Pam Damoff MP, was addressed during the discussion. Keira's Law would provide training for judges in domestic violence cases, in order that they might make rulings that include and are relevant based on evidence, for the health and welfare of the children involved.
HWP initiated a Learn to Love Program, educating children from Grades 1 to 12 about healthy relationships, consent, bullying, media and gender stereotypes, dating violence and more. Visit the website for details of how your child’s school can hear the carefully prepared presentation.
“Until things change, we need to stop asking women in abusive relationships why?”, Kaufman added. Advice that she offers those who are aware of someone in crisis, no matter the relationship with that individual, is to be understanding, to offer an ear, emotional or financial support.
Help them to gather evidence. Refrain from judgment, understanding that you can’t force anyone to leave before they are ready.
Kaufman shared her contact information through the HWP website, for those who had more questions.
Themed tokens were left at each place-setting in the form of bookmarks printed with a message authored by Maya Angelou, on point for the occasion,
Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women.
Director of Philanthropy & Community Engagement, Carmela Bozzo, hosted the event. The Honourable Karina Gould was recognized for her work to advance gender equality. Gould was recently recognized as one of Top 25 Most Influential Women in Canada by Women of Influence.
Also in attendance were representatives of the HWP sponsors, Cogeco, Sovereign Wealth Management, as well as equity sponsors Ishrani Henry of Re/Max Escarpment Realty Brokerage Oakville, and Loft Financial.
A crisis hotline is available, even for those who aren’t victims, but know of someone who is and want more information on how to help - 24-HOUR CRISIS LINES AT 905-332-7892 | 905-878-8555 | OR CHAT ONLINE.