Clem Onojeghuo
Hats
As an immigrant, you come to the western world wearing many hats. It is like the different hats (roles) you wear at work but with a twist. By the time you arrive in your new country, you already conditioned your mind that you must do all that is in your power to survive.
You take up any kind of job, especially odd jobs, because you are desperate to survive. You must put food on the table for your family, and of course, you must pay bills. Yes, I said "bills", that thing which does not discriminate; you must pay your bill from day one.
You go through many trying periods: mental torture, loneliness, fear, and insecurity with the mindset of survival. You learn to adapt to your new home, new culture, learn new ways of living. You are often required to go back to school because whatever education you have from your country of origin is not recognized in this new country.
After training, you face the task of finding a job and the challenge of lack of experience or what Canada calls "Canadian experience." Finally, comes the big break. You land your first job. Ooh, you are so happy. You are excited.
Your heart is filled with gratitude.
Yes, you are happy and rightly so. You are ready to show appreciation and return kindness. You promise yourself to do all that is in your power to ensure you excel at your new job. You want to give back to your employer, who gave you this fantastic opportunity that put you closer to your dream job and allowed you to step into the corporate space.
So, you work hard, you work harder and harder and harder.
From the first job, you move to the next and the next and the next. You continue to work hard, even harder, and to hope. You add a new hat to the previous two; Survival, Gratitude, and now "Hope."
With hope, you approach any challenge with the mindset this is what you need to go through to achieve your goal in other to land that dream job.
You wake up every morning, ready to play.
You take stock of the previous employment, and you identify the things you believe you did not do right, something you must improve on.
If you think your accent is why you have not succeeded, you begin to work to improve it and hopefully enhance your chance of getting that dream job.
You playback the number of times you were asked to repeat a particular thing or when someone said to you after you pronounce a word, "oh, you mean" this or that…. You start to think - if only you can improve your pronunciation of words, you will land your dream job.
You begin to practice pronouncing words, imitating other people's pronunciation of words.
You hope to get better and make changes with the hope it will make a difference, hoping they will understand you better. You practice in front of the mirror, with your kids, etc., if
English language proficiency is on the list of things to get better on, you take up English classes and try to improve your grammar.
What about how you are dress, you ask? Okay, that too can be fixed.
You look at your coworkers and try to change your work outfit, your accessories, your hair. In pursuit of one thing, you make all these efforts to blend in and fit in. All the while, holding onto hope.
You understand losing hope is not an option; hope must be kept alive. You know very well without hope; you cannot survive, so you make endurance your anchor. You continue doing the tough work, never forgetting to be grateful.
After all, many immigrants are not lucky like you to land their first corporate job. You tell yourself to hold on. Even when it becomes apparent, the job you are in is not right for you. There is no future for you in the organization. It is time to move on, to leave. To pursue your dream somewhere else, you continue to wait, and you hope that the situation will change.
You go back to your list to see what more you must do, ah, you think, perhaps you should change your culture, your behavior, your values. You convince yourself to do something about your culture while you wait a little longer.
So, wait, you do, change you try, and gradually you begin to adjust "You" and keep altering "You." Only changing your ways, you soon realize, is not going to make any difference. You are different.
Finally, it dawns on you. It does not matter what you change.
"You are who You are."
With the realization that your culture is different from that of your new country. You begin to abandon parts of your cultural beliefs, your value system too, but no matter what you alter, you still feel like an outsider.
An Outsider! Now you are confused.
You may have lost who you are in the process of all that change. You may have begun to lose hope and accept your status quo. But you still have the desire to fit in, so you ask, can my culture contribute to this?
Is my background any factor?
How can I change my culture or philosophy?
Hmmm, not my lifestyle, you think!
My culture is the essence of who I am, you say aloud.
It is the one place you do not want to compromise. You feel disappointed, yet you know deep in your soul, you must remain grateful.
There are millions of reasons to be thankful.
So, instead of challenging this thing that has made you an outsider, you begin to lower your ambition. You change your strides to match your mood unconsciously.
You now drag your feet at work, at home, at church, wherever you find yourself.
You tell yourself the vital thing is the bill is getting paid. Kids are in school. You reassure yourself your children will take up where you left. You just need to do the needful to help them with their school fees.
You must not quit and must continue to be grateful.
After all, you say to yourself, when you convert the money you now make to what you earned back home, it seems much more.
You decide to be happy. To pat yourself on the back because you have tried. You are who you are, and you have tried; you repeat this statement to yourself a zillion time.
Unfortunately, you cannot change your culture.
Instead of embracing this new realization with a positive mindset, you succumb to thinking it is the end of the road for you.
But wait, here comes yet another hat, the insider hat.
Some immigrants get to wear this hat.
Sadly, so many do not…. They stop with the outsider hat. Too bogged down with the hats on their head and not finding any room to fit more hats. Only a few get to wear the insider hat.
Once on, you realize this hat is different. It is an awakening. You recognize "difference is okay."
Finally, the time has come to put the other "hats" on the table and no longer on your head. Yes, on the table, because while all these hats are essential to everyday living, each has its purpose. You must pull each hat when the situation calls, but now, it is time to step into your full self. To discover the strength that is you.
This is the time to drop the hat of survival and replace it with "I too belong here" I belong here.
Here now is my home.
I am no longer only an immigrant.
I am a Canadian.
I am an American. Or wherever the country you now call home.
You recognize it is up to you to claim your rightful place. You have paid your dues. You are contributing to your home. You are paying tax, what is theirs is yours. No one is going to give you the insider hat.
You must choose to put down the Survival hat and replace it with the "Insider" hat.
Yes, you are part of your new country. Own it! Let them see how your difference complements them. They will not know unless you tell them. Do not just tell them, show them.
It is time to shine.
Remember who you are?
You are the brave soul that left the comfort of all that is familiar to you to come to a new country to start over.
You are the shining light that dares to start over again, starting from the lowest place. You are that person that, despite all odds and barriers, reached the height of where you are today. That person who went back to school while supporting or starting a family, often supporting two homes, your immediate family and the family you left behind back in your country of origin.
It is not over yet. No, no, not even close. You must keep the "hats" and wear each when needed. You are the beacon of hope for many immigrants behind you, and so RISE, YOU MUST.
You immigrant, your "hat" is endless. All you need to do is master when to wear each one.
Peace.
