My mom made sure I had lots of happy memories growing up. She took my brother and me to the park often, helped with our homework and even tried to beat me at video games.
I have lots of sad memories too. All of them involve my dad. I didn’t feel very safe around him. Dad did lots of things that scared me. He was often violent, would punch holes in walls and yell at my brother and me if he thought we were misbehaving.
My worst memory of growing up happened when I was 9 years old. My dad was shouting really loud and calling my mom lots of really awful names. I saw him hit her across the face, so I got in the middle to protect her and tried to push him away. He shoved me away so hard I hit the kitchen wall. My brother, mom and I moved out that day and went to live with my grandparents.
I kept my feelings about what I’d seen at home to myself. I was afraid of what my dad would do if I told anyone. I withdrew from my friends and worried while I was at school that my dad would show up at home and hurt my mom. Every night I had nightmares, so I tried not to fall asleep.
My mom searched for help for my brother and me and contacted Radius Child and Youth Services. I wasn’t convinced it was a good idea to talk about what had happened in the past – I was afraid that dad would find out.
After a month or so I began to trust my therapist. She made me feel safe and helped me talk about everything I had seen and been through. After several months of learning how to cope with the memories of my dad’s violence I started doing better in school. I stopped being afraid to fall asleep because I had less nightmares. I have started making friends and, with my grandparents’ help, joined a baseball team. Most importantly, I stopped looking over my shoulder, and worrying that my dad would show up and hurt us.
I still have some problems, but with the help of my therapist I am working through them. My mom, brother and I have moved into our own place and are much happier. Radius has made a huge difference in our lives.
You can help Radius Child and Youth Services by donating to the United Way.
