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Iron Man 3 destroys yet another trilogy: 2/5

iron man 3
iron man 3
Stark
Stark's suit production addiction gets exposed in Iron Man 3. | Stark's suit production addiction gets exposed in Iron Man 3.

Every so often we come across cinematic trilogies that make us “ooo” and “awh” in bewilderment, witnessing the progression of the stories we love, as well as the consistent advancement in filmmaking. Sometimes these trilogies are a success (most recently Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy), and sometimes these trilogies are flawed, usually due to the sequels.

Shane Black replaces Jon Favreau in the director’s chair of the Iron Man series and seals the deal in throwing us one disappointing and embarrassing conclusion to the Iron Man trilogy.

[movies name="Iron Man 3" website="marvel.com/ironman3‎" opens="May 3, 2013" score="2.0" trailer="www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ke1Y3P9D0Bc" rating="pg" advisories="VIOLENCE" genre="Action/Super Hero" runningtime="129"]

The story revolves around the wealthy yet self indulgent Tony Stark (Robert Downy Jr.) we’ve all somehow come to love, only this time his personality has been washed out and replaced with dullness and bore. While trying to move on and live his life while coping with a traumatic life experience (which occurred in the climax of Joss Whedon’s The Avengers) Stark and his better half, Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow), are invaded by The Mandarin (Ben Kingsley), a terrorist who doesn’t respond kindly to Stark’s public message that he’s no match. After the destruction of his house and exile from his love, Stark embarks on a mission to track and execute those responsible.

Iron Man 3 suffers in many sectors, providing us with a cheesy soundtrack, horrendous writing, awkward and unnecessary scenes and unpolished special effects. The whole movie is showered with cliché and disbelief, having more interest in selling its toys rather than delivering the spectacle we were all promised. One scene after another, I was hoping there would be something meaningful that would draw me into the convoluted and shamefully structured plot, but instead I let out one unintentional laugh after another. The lack of themes and symbolism made the movie out to be a complete waste of time. It even includes a twist that will throw comic book fans off, having them reimagine their own film in an alternate universe.

The film departures everything we’ve come to love about our protagonist, from self-discovery and humanity, and grants us a character we regret ever caring about.

I couldn’t help but think back to the 90’s when superhero movies hit an all time low with Joel Schumacher’s assault on the dark knight, Batman & Robin. The series transitioned from dark realism and menace to pure camp and awkward flamboyance, ultimately leading to a critical failure. Unfortunately, history has repeated itself with Iron Man 3. Our flavor of unnecessary camp and glimmer never tasted so bad.

I really wanted to like this film, being a huge fan of the first of the series (liking it even more than The Avengers), but where there is gold, there will always be dirt.

As the movie opened with “Blue” by Eiffel 65, I put my head down to accept and move past the cheese, telling myself “its only the beginning, you have two hours to go.” I should’ve known that the following two hours were consumed with continuity errors and absurd filmmaking and writing.

Remember Batman & Robin? Me too. Skip this one.