Cultural phenomenon Spongebob Squarepants is back with his third movie, even though The Spongebob Movie: Sponge on the Run is meant to once again restart the franchise.
But this is the first time you won’t hear Patchy the Pirate’s famous call “Are ya ready kids?” as part of it. That’s because we know the kids are as ready for a good time as the parents definitely won’t have one.
Spongebob’s new big screen saga has a lot of parts that are really fun, including some terrific new 3D animation. There’s also a couple fun musical sequences and enough celebrity cameos to give The Muppets a run for its money.
And throughout all this, the movie itself is totally incoherent. There’s too many plot lines that get abandoned, put aside, and it feels instead like a bunch of thrown out TV episodes that somehow ended up in a movie together.
The basic story is Spongebob’s (Tom Kenny, a 22 year veteran of the character) pet snail Gary has gone missing. Turns out he’s been taken by King Poseidon (Matt Berry) and is with him in the Lost City of Atlantic City. Now, Spongebob and his friends must take a road trip to bring Gary home.
The story ignores over 20 years of Spongebob’s history
I’ve got a lot of problems with the story. Most of the material is rehashed from previous Spongebob movies and episodes. The whole premise of rescuing Gary, for example, was a 2006 television special called Where’s Gary?.
And Spongebob and Patrick on a road trip rescue mission is literally the plot of the first Spongebob Movie in 2004.
But even with this story concept as the central plot, more than half the movie is random, episodic detours. There are several live-action scenes where Spongebob meets zombie pirate ghosts in a cowboy saloon, including a zombie rap number with Snoop Dogg.
(I’ll admit, it had no business being in the film. But Snoop Dogg’s performance was by far the most entertaining scene in the movie.)
Then there’s an extended courtroom scene, arguing for Spongebob’s life in a Vegas-esque ballroom. And that’s interjected with several flashbacks to young Spongebob at summer camp. Yes, those 15 minutes of film devoted to the characters at “Camp Coral” is actually a long time rejected concept for a spinoff TV series.
Stephen Hillenburg (Spongebob’s deceased creator) refused to make the spinoff his entire life. Now, in the movie dedicated to him after he passed, here’s the very story he never wanted in a big screen movie.
Including these elements and scenes in a movie dedicated to the guy who insisted and explicitly said he never wanted this to be made I think is actually pretty insulting to Hillenburg’s memory.
But writer/director Tim Hill is an insulting kind of guy. His family movies through the years have been focused on crassness and cheap hybrids of animation to the real world. His past works like Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties, Alvin & the Chipmunks and Hop are all popular with kids because they’re annoying for their parents to watch.
The Spongebob Movie: Sponge on the Run has no focus
It’s frustrating as a audience member to see these glaring flaws and also understand none of them really matter. All of this could’ve been fixed if all the pointless, extra scenes had been left out.
As an adult audience member (despite having watched most of the television show in my own childhood) this new movie isn’t meant for me, even though most of the jokes are adult-oriented.
The movie is for young children under 10. Even though none of the kids in my screening were laughing, many of them came out saying they loved it.
I can sympathize with this a lot more: the animation is very cool, and there’s a couple scenes that are fun to watch even if they have nothing to do with the rest of the film.
So should you see the new Spongebob Movie: Sponge on the Run? If you love the show, you won’t care what inconsistencies devalue the plot. And if you have kids, they’ll have a great time.
If you’re accompanying either of these groups, be ready to scratch your head in confusion instead of enjoying it with them.
The Spongebob Movie: Sponge on the Run
5 out of 10
G, 1hr 31mins. Animated Family Adventure Comedy.
Written and Directed by Tim Hill.
Starring Tom Kenny, Bill Fagerbakke, Matt Berry, Keanu Reeves, Awkwafina, Carolyn Lawrence, Rodger Bumpass, Clancy Brown, Reggie Watts, and Mr. Lawrence.
Now Playing at Film.Ca Cinemas, 5 Drive-In, Cineplex Winston Churchill and Cineplex Oakville.
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