Looking for a real fright-fest this Halloween? The Addams Family 2 has you covered: it’ll confuse the kids trying to follow what’s going on and terrify the adults, remorseful they got hoodwinked into paying money to see this.
How many people who saw the ho-hum Addams Family movie a few years ago were really screaming for a sequel? That was was passable if forgettable, but this new movie is insulting. It’s nonsense, gross-out humour only subsides when the movie changes directions to a sci-fi horror and becomes downright stupid.
For movie #2, the titular family are going on a cross-country road trip to address Gomez Addams (Oscar Isaac) mid-life crisis that his kids don’t like spending time with him anymore. The rest of the film is mixed with that, plus a second plot of a mad scientist trying to convince Wednesday Addams (Chloë Grace Moretz) that he’s her real father, only to kidnap and experiment on the other Addams for…evil? science? Who knows.
The story wants to be a family road trip comedy and a sci-fi horror at the same time. Those two kinds of stories clearly don’t go together - it wasn’t obvious to the filmmakers, but it is to the audience. And the story doesn’t succeed at either of them.
Who was the target audience for the humour? There were jokes about middle fingers, one-night stands, getting high on drugs, and a parody of the blood shower scene from Carrie. Isn’t this meant for kids? I’m slightly upset that dozens of filmmakers on the project though any of this was funny in the first place, let alone for children.
Next comes several annoying, short-lived subplots ranging from a Texas beauty pageant to brainwashing someone into thinking they are an octopus. I was also caught off guard by Bette Midler and Snoop Dogg planning a house party - references that no child will understand.
But then there was the open and unapologetic advertisement for Progressive Insurance during the film, in plain sight. The shamelessness is appalling - especially when TV ads for the last two weeks have been featuring characters from the movie. Who in their right mind thought of this cross-promotion?
These are arguably petty complaints, but there are fundamental problems with the basic production, too. The character designs are hideously ugly and grotesque, and not because it’s a Halloween film - it’s because, for some reason, even the kids look like they have Botox injections. It’s also a bad sign when all the added characters from the first film were cut from the sequel.
Maybe the worst and most unforgivable part are the several jokes about the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic - apparently this film is taking place in a universe where the pandemic is happening in real time, but no one would take public health seriously.
There are jokes about social distancing and using hand sanitizer, yet none of the characters are behaving responsibly. On a cross country road trip, there’s no mask wearing, no distancing, and a blatant disregard for safe behaviour in every public place visited.
It’s too dark for kids and deeply unfunny for their parents. There’s almost no admirable quality in the entire movie. I’d say The Addams Family 2 would have creator Charles Addams rolling in his grave, but that would be an insult to Charles and what his macabre creations aspire to be.
And whatever the heck this misleading kid’s movie is, this isn’t it.
The Addams Family 2
1 out of 10
PG, 1hr 32mins. Animated Sci-Fi Disaster.
Directed by Greg Tiernan and Conrad Vernon.
Starring Chloë Grace Moretz, Oscar Isaac, Charlize Theron, Nick Kroll, Javon Walton, Wallace Shawn and Bill Hader.
Now Playing at Film.Ca Cinemas, the 5 Drive-In, Cineplex Winston Churchill and Cineplex Oakville & VIP. Also available for paid rentals on various services.
